Sorry for the Lord of the Rings quote, but this post isn’t going to be about Tolkien, save indirectly. It’s going to be about the writer’s enemy I love to gripe about most. Procrastination. I know, I know, I’ve talked about it before, but never with a snazzy picture to illustrate my point.
Here, we have Gandalf, facing the Balrog on the bridge in Khazad-dum. Quite the inspirational shot, right? And it’s remarkably applicable, as you’ll see here. What’s that you’re saying? “Oh, but, Michael, there’s no such thing as Balrogs. And even if there were, what are my chances of meeting one?”
Well, unfortunately for you, if you’re a writer, you run into them every day. Here’s MY version of the picture above.
As you can see, we have your authorial conscience costumed as Gandalf, with the monster of procrastination portrayed as realistically as Mr. Jackson could make it. In this scene, conscience-Gandalf is still shouting, “Fly, you fools!”. Unfortunately for you, this version isn’t quite as strong as the original Tolkien character.
So, rather than waiting around to help the poor guy, you’d better hope you can run a lot faster than a partially-hungry monster of procrastination. That conscience wizard “won’t make more than a mouthful”, but maybe he’ll slow the fiery beast down a little.
What are you waiting for? Run! To pens, men, to pens! The enemy has come upon you in the night!
P.S The most scrutinous (yes, it’s a word) of you will notice that I also captioned the orcs behind the Balrog. What? I didn’t? Oh, that’s right. Well, one of them was the orc of spelling problems. Another was the orc of pen-run-dry, and the last one was the orc of editing. Why didn’t I caption them? That’s right. Because, none of them are even close to as scary and dangerous as the balrog of procrastination.